Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The D Word

Who wants to start a blog with the D-word? But here I am. The topic of my first sermon is DIVORCE.

The story goes a little something like this. Last year I woke up and found myself living in a McMansion in one of those well appointed "lifestyle communities" replete with waterfalls and acres of precisely trimmed Kentucky bluegrass and 2.7 luxury SUVs per capita.

And I realized that my daydreams all involved a)my own death; or b)federal prison.

I had four beautiful children. A fluffy college degree in Classics (omnia Gallia in tres partes divisa est, etc.). My husband was a handsome, successful attorney. I taught Sunday School. I served on a local school board. I was, in short, a soccer mom.

So I did what any reasonably bright person would do under the circumstances. I went stark raving mad.

Insanity is great fun. I highly recommend it. Unfortunately, dealing with the fallout from the nuclear blast that was my attempt to regain consciousness has proven somewhat more difficult than I expected. Especially for my kids.

Here's what he got: the house, the minivan, 50% custody.
Here's what I got: the Steinway, and the ability to solve the Rubiks Cube.
Learning to make my own way in the world: priceless.

I suppose I should have some sort of mission statement for this blog or something, but as an anarchist, I'm opposed to mission statements on principle. I'm envisioning this as a safe space to share all the cool books I've been reading, and to talk about whatever happens to be on my mind (which can range from Von Karman vortex streets to the misguided No Child Left Behind Act to behavioral economics).

In the past year, I lost my faith in God, my secure upper middle class lifestyle, my "job" (and I do think that stay-at-home mothering is a job, for the record). I lost the love of my life, because when he found out who I really was, he didn't want me (what the hell is his problem? I'm cute, I'm smart, and I bake a mean cherry pie). I experienced severe social ostracism (welcome to small town America!).

It was all worth it. If you are considering a major life change or seven, what's holding you back? Fear is the mindkiller, man. (yeah, big Frank Herbert fan here). Sure, change hurts. But in the words of William Blake, never changing your opinion "is like standing in still water and breeds reptiles of the mind." And who wants alligators inhabiting her brain? Not this anarchist soccer mom!